May 1st, 2020

Comparison is the thief of heartache. How many times have you compared your situation to others since the start of the pandemic? I have struggled with it and I have heard it from others more times than I can count.
Comparison is the thief of heartache because it pulls us away from our particular pain. And when our pain or trauma is left unaddressed, we move less and less from our true selves. We become depressed, accusatory or harsh and emotionally dehydrated.

One of the main tenets in psychotherapy is that trauma cannot be compared. Yes, there are differences in severity and wounds, but someone’s else pain is not the measuring stick for your pain. It would be similar to going to the ER with a deep cut and the doctor saying she won’t treat you because she has seen worse injuries.

It doesn’t mean we ignore inequities or injustices. Privilege recognition is so important, yet when it turns into comparison, it blots out our heartache. The blotting out not only furthers our pain, but it joins the inequities and injustices of our world.

Our guilt and shame, which drive comparison, deny the reality that All wounds are meant for healing.

Our communion with our woundedness enables us to move into the world bringing true healing.
Henri Nouwen writes, “Who can take away suffering without entering it?” So, we enter through our own suffering first.

Draw near to your pain that calls out today and watch how it unfolds you into a more whole, available, tender human.

Our heartache is meant to join the world’s, it’s there we find our way through it.




April 25th, 2020

This website is almost finished. You guys, this has taken me over 2 years to complete. This process was almost impossible considering how stuck I’d get in the wordsmithing and design elements plus I was cagey about being pigeon-holed as only 1 thing: a ritual-maker.

I’m grateful for the wise people who have dared me towards my desire. Who have challenged me when I flirted with resigning. This isn’t a big task in the grand scheme of things, but for me it felt like I was trying to win the presidential election against...Trump. Holy moly.

If you’re out there stuck or delaying what is trying to come out of you, please hear this from me, one of the most stuck, hem-hawed person out there: please keep creating and moving towards the thing or things that bring you life. Name them, write them down, dream about them, learn the “what” and “how” of these things.

Then, take small, like, itty bitty steps towards actualizing them. I’m a dreamer so the itty bitty steps were my least favorite and most overwhelming part.

Yet these steps were the very actions that honored and joined the chorus of my soul’s desire to be a ritual-maker.
Let those steps sing. Even if they sound like dying seagulls at first.

So today I dare myself and you to move towards what your soul desires to create. Let’s see what happens.

  © 2020 Life In Ritual