Comparison is the Thief of Heartache

Comparison is the thief of heartache. How many times have you compared your situation to others since the start of the pandemic? I have struggled with it and I have heard it from others more times than I can count.
Comparison is the thief of heartache because it pulls us away from our particular pain. And when our pain or trauma is left unaddressed, we move less and less from our true selves. We become depressed, accusatory or harsh and emotionally dehydrated.

One of the main tenets in psychotherapy is that trauma cannot be compared. Yes, there are differences in severity and wounds, but someone’s else pain is not the measuring stick for your pain. It would be similar to going to the ER with a deep cut and the doctor saying she won’t treat you because she has seen worse injuries.

It doesn’t mean we ignore inequities or injustices. Privilege recognition is so important, yet when it turns into comparison, it blots out our heartache. The blotting out not only furthers our pain, but it joins the inequities and injustices of our world.

Our guilt and shame, which drive comparison, deny the reality that All wounds are meant for healing.

Our communion with our woundedness enables us to move into the world bringing true healing.
Henri Nouwen writes, “Who can take away suffering without entering it?” So, we enter through our own suffering first.

Draw near to your pain that calls out today and watch how it unfolds you into a more whole, available, tender human.

Our heartache is meant to join the world’s, it’s there we find our way through it.